Dependence on alcohol changes people: at the beginning of a relationship they show their best qualities, but alcohol abuse can make life together impossible. But what about love? It is possible, even with an alcoholic. Sometimes they can be helped, but in some cases the only way is to get out of the relationship and build it with another person.
If you still love your loved one and you don’t like how alcoholism in a relationship is affecting your life, try to help him! Talk to him or her about treatment at New Breath Recovery, where you can get a second chance at a happy and sober life.
How Alcohol Affects Relationships
According to a large-scale study by Michael P Marshal, it was found that excessive alcohol consumption is mostly associated with low relationship satisfaction. This doesn’t mean that the sober partner is to blame. But it does mean that some act of his or hers served as a trigger for alcohol abuse.
What this can lead to:
- a refusal to fulfill previously agreed upon responsibilities;
- decreased quality of sex;
- withdrawal and lack of intimacy;
- infidelity;
- constant fighting;
- increasing irritability and aggression;
- violence, including sexual violence.
A study by Kajol V Sontate and his team on the relationship between alcoholism and various forms of violence claims a direct link between alcohol and domestic violence. For example, about 2/3 of all incidents reported to the police involved violence by an intoxicated partner.
Alcohol is the substance that releases all brakes. Therefore, the consequences of a relationship with an alcoholic without timely treatment measures are always the same.
Relationship with a Male Alcoholic
In a relationship where alcohol is abused by a boyfriend, the first thing to think about is whether it is worth trying to solve the problem at all. If a family is not built, and alcohol is a conscious choice of a person, then sometimes it makes sense to just not prevent him from being responsible for his choice. But to do so without jeopardizing your life.
It is most difficult when the alcoholic becomes the husband. The most common reasons are:
- job loss;
- dissatisfaction with quality of life;
- stress and depression;
- midlife crisis.
If there are children in the family and the alcoholic does not want to be treated for addiction, the only right choice is to break the relationship. This will help raise the children in a healthy environment, and in some cases, encourage the alcoholic to get on the path of correction.
Relationship with a Female Alcoholic
The main danger is that women try to hide their addiction to alcohol until the last minute. It may start as an innocent glass of wine and meetings with girlfriends, but ends with daily servings of alcohol. Dependence in this case develops faster than in men, and it is more difficult to treat.
The main causes of alcoholism among women are:
- unhappy family life;
- unrealized career;
- constant worrying about children and family;
- stress and depression.
Often the choice of alcohol instead of a relationship is the result of a lack of attention from a man. It is necessary to show that the woman is really desirable and her contribution to the joint life is invaluable, so that she will be motivated to live a sober life.
When to Help
It is impossible to force a person to stop drinking alcohol. Because it is not enough just to limit alcohol intake — changes must take place at the internal level, there must be an understanding of the problem. Trying to impose rehabilitation can have the opposite effect: it often causes dislike and even aggression.
You can only try to help in one case: if a person says that he or she wants to get cured, but cannot do it on his or her own.
Tips on How to Handle a Relationship with an Alcoholic
One should always remember that alcoholism is not a bad habit, but a real disease. This means that all hurtful words and reproaches said by an alcoholic should not be taken personally. One must be prepared for the fact that the alcohol addict will lie and make impossible promises. If living with an alcoholic is not detrimental to your health, it is important to keep yourself in love with him or her.
Another helpful tip is to not try to control the addicted person. He is not a child, so he must learn to build cause-and-effect relationships, to be responsible for his actions. It will be much better if the alcoholic faces the negative consequences of his disease as soon as possible. This can serve as an impetus to give up alcohol.
Another piece of advice is that you should not make life easy for the alcoholic. There is no need to lie for him to other people and protect him from trouble. This is a direct way to manipulate and prolong the disease.
And remember that you are not the only one facing this problem. Many people are looking for answers and are willing to help in anonymous communities. Communicating with those who continue to love their loved one no matter what, helps a lot to cope with stress. In the community you will be listened to and share your worries, give valuable advice on how to behave with an alcohol addict. This can be your outlet, something that helps you move on.
If it’s just a boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve recently met, that’s one situation. But what about if it’s a husband or wife suffering from alcoholism? In the article “Alcohol is Destroying My Marriage: What Can I Do?” we talked about how alcohol can destroy a marriage, how to realize that a loved one needs help, and how to talk to them about it.
When to Walk Away
Every person’s life is the same. And you are not responsible for the alcoholic no matter what kind of relationship you had before. Sometimes the only way out is to leave.
The National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions found a direct correlation between alcoholism and divorce rates. For example, among couples where one partner abused alcohol, the divorce rate reached 48.3%, while the divorce rate for sober partners was 30.1%.
Here are three signs that you need to do so:
- living together with an alcoholic is making you unhappy and negatively affecting your health;
- the alcoholic is not going to get treatment;
- your life is in danger because of the alcoholic’s aggressive behavior.
In all these cases, the desire to leave should not cause feelings of guilt. Time passes, and no one will give you back the lost years and health.
Seeking Professional Support
Treatment approaches are always individualized. But if alcohol addiction leads to the destruction of the family or close relationships, it means that the most effective ways are required. Inpatient treatment is recommended at the initial stage, which can later be replaced by outpatient treatment and relapse prevention.
New Breath Recovery Rehabilitation Center is the place where you can get help. Here, you will receive 24/7 professional medical care through effective Alcohol Addiction Treatment programs. At the first stage, an anamnesis will be collected and an individual rehabilitation program will be developed.
The next mandatory stage is Medical Detox. This is a set of measures to eliminate alcohol and its breakdown products from the body in such a way that giving up alcohol will have less of an impact on health. Detoxification under the control of doctors is necessary to alleviate withdrawal symptoms, the manifestation of which is stronger the longer the period of alcohol consumption.
All the rest is work on yourself with the help of experienced psychologists and psychotherapists. They will teach you how to fight the desire to drink, show you how to avoid negative triggers, and help you develop self-control. At this stage, different therapies can be applied, the choice of which depends on the situation. Only an experienced doctor can assess the condition of the addict and apply the most effective treatment method in a timely manner.
At New Breath Recovery, patients are in comfortable conditions. They are provided with single and double rooms with a bathroom and toilet. Each patient receives maximum attention from the nursing and medical staff, who are responsible not only for rehabilitation, but also for organizing leisure activities. Meals are prepared by a chef according to the preferences of people undergoing treatment at the clinic.