If you’ve had to face a person in your life who has an alcohol addiction, you’ve probably noticed one peculiarity about them: they often lie about everything, not always even realizing how noticeable their lies are. Yes, all people lie, but why do alcoholics lie about everything in general? In this article we will try to answer this question. This is necessary in order to understand what is going on with the alcoholic and possibly try to help him.
What usually happens if someone is caught lying? You can reprimand, ridicule, scold — sometimes this makes the liar reconsider his views on life. But in the case of a person suffering from alcohol addiction, this will not help. The reason is that alcoholism is a disease that affects the brain. A sick person is no longer able to control his words and actions. But he can still be helped. The New Breath Recovery clinic has all conditions for rehabilitation of patients with alcohol addiction. Patients are under constant control 24/7 of medical staff and doctors, eat delicious food (own chef), live in one- or two-bed apartments, where there is everything you need.
Lying as a Means of Defense
According to research on the motivation for lying, a large group of reasons for deception are united by a protective function. This may be to protect oneself or others from shocking information about alcohol addiction.
In a person with alcohol addiction, denial and lying often coexist. Denial is the first stage of acceptance of the problem, and reluctance to recognize the seriousness of alcohol problems is often seen in people who have started drinking recently and their drinking history is less than a few months.
Lying as a consequence of denial helps sufferers maintain a positive view of themselves despite characteristic changes in health, relationships, and financial situations. Lying as a means of self-protection helps to minimize the number of confrontations with loved ones and to avoid institutional treatment.
Additional difficulties are caused by the fact that treatment is often perceived as a forced confinement, involving unbearable agony. Much of this fear is fueled by information from books and movies, in which rehabilitation clinics are presented in a deliberately distorted way.
Overcoming denial can be done through empathic communication, counseling with experienced therapists and attending support groups.
Lying as a Way to Avoid Condemnation
A human being is a social being, whose life is largely dependent on other people. At the same time, alcohol addiction is perceived negatively by society: alcoholics are shunned, they are more susceptible to discrimination. All of this can eventually lead to isolation.
Social stigmatization or linking negative qualities is a very good reason for an alcoholic to hide their addiction and lie about drinking. The more susceptible a person is to social labels (stigma), the more likely they are to use lying as one of their few means of self-defense. This also makes it difficult to enter treatment because it requires admitting to addiction and facing society’s judgment.
Stigma is a big problem in society, it shows up on all levels and can greatly reduce the chances of recovery. For example, people with drug addictions are treated as potential criminals and alcoholics are treated as unpredictable individuals who are not beneficial to society. Even social advertising uses techniques that emphasize the damage to health. But there is no mention of the fact that a person with an addiction is a sick person who is unable to control substance use.
Dangerous, unpredictable, incurable, useless, unkempt, poor — just a small part of the social labels that are used against people with alcohol addiction. To this we can also add “lying”, which creates a vicious cycle in the relationship between alcoholics and lying.
Lying as a Consequence of Memory Loss
Any amount of alcohol affects the brain. The higher the dose, the more serious the consequences. This does not need to be proved: a large amount of drinking in the evening often leads to the appearance of memory lapses. The lies of the alcoholic in such cases can be explained by the fact that he does not remember the events of the previous day and tries to hide the fact that a large amount of alcohol was drunk and this was the reason for the memory lapse. It also happens that the deception is the fantasy of a person who is in a state of hangover.
As the length of alcohol addiction increases, so does the damage done to the central nervous system. It is like a snowball effect that can end in dementia. Frequent memory lapses caused by excessive alcohol consumption are a very serious cause for concern. It is important to seek help as soon as possible — cognitive abilities can be restored to some extent as a result of rehabilitation.
Lies Caused by Guilt
How does the cycle of guilt and lies form in a person suffering from alcohol addiction? For example, he may make a promise not to drink, but then, unable to cope with himself, have a drink. This fact makes him feel guilty and he feels discomfort. To avoid this state, the alcoholic has to lie. He sees lying as an effective tool for avoiding judgment, but it can also lead to more guilt. Often the reason for this is the revelation of the truth. To avoid stress, the person uses alcohol again, thus creating a vicious circle. Is there any way to break it?
Unfortunately, only a small number of people are able to do it on their own — in exceptional cases. Most people need help to understand the underlying causes of guilt, to learn conscious behavior, and the ability to identify and deal with triggers. The family can be invaluable in helping with this. Research shows that forgiveness can reduce guilt and shame and thereby reduce the likelihood of relapse.
Lying as a Result of Self-Delusion
One of the most common reasons why alcoholics lie is the self-deception that nothing has changed. This is especially true for so-called functional alcoholics. They may continue to work, maintain relationships, and study while in complete denial of having a drinking problem.
Common signs of this behavior include:
- Appearance of control.
- Adherence to invented drinking rules.
- Vows not to abuse.
These are all abstract aspects of the problem. In fact, the disease progresses every day: internal organs and psyche suffer. If you do not try to defeat alcoholism, it will lead to sad consequences.
Self-deception can be defeated only by providing irrefutable facts, which will be voiced by an authoritative person. The latter can be a family member or a doctor.
Lying as a Simple Way to Avoid a Quarrel
Accusations, anger, frustration are just a few of the reactions alcoholics face when loved ones learn the truth about their addiction. To avoid all these reactions, they resort to lying.
This avoids conflict for a while but creates more problems later on:
- The person becomes secretive.
- Misunderstandings arise.
- Tension builds.
- Relationships break down.
All this is explained by the fact that the foundation of any relationship is trust in a close person. If it is not there, then sooner or later one of the partners gets tired of lying and begins to look for another life partner.
Lying to Get Money
Money is needed to buy alcohol. Functioning alcoholics can afford to buy even expensive alcohol on their own. But with the loss of a job, the financial situation of such people worsens. They need money to buy booze. And for money, they are willing to lie.
How does this usually manifest itself? A person with addiction asks for money to buy something important or pay bills, and spends it on alcohol. He may gradually sell things down to those things that are necessary for a normal life. Moreover, he may commit theft.
How to Help a Person with Alcohol Addiction
We all know that cheating is bad. But in relations with an alcoholic you should realize that deception is a consequence of the disease. Relatives, friends, and loved ones should treat a person with alcohol addiction as a sick person: he or she cannot do otherwise because his or her brain is “infected with alcohol”. This requires a compassionate approach. But it can pay off by talking the sick person into treatment. In the article How to Get Someone Into Rehab: Useful Tips, we paid special attention to this issue.
Alcohol addiction treatment is possible in inpatient and outpatient settings. The first option is suitable for all cases and implies permanent residence in a rehabilitation center for an agreed period of time, for example, 28 days. Outpatient treatment can be used in the presence of a mild form of addiction. In these cases, there is much less control by medical staff and great importance is given to self-control or family support. Also possible is the so-called partial hospitalization — an intensive course of rehabilitation, in which the patient visits the clinic during the day and sleeps at home. Which of these options is best to choose can only be determined by an experienced doctor after a comprehensive examination.
Why is self-treatment a bad choice? With prolonged alcohol abuse and subsequent withdrawal, severe withdrawal symptoms, including alcoholic delirium, occur. This is very dangerous for both the patient themselves and those around them. Therefore, medical detoxification is needed, which consists in the gradual removal of alcohol and its breakdown products from the body, as well as the appointment of special supportive medications.
Subsequent rehabilitation includes individual and group psychotherapy sessions, participation in support group discussions and other activities aimed at learning to cope with triggers on their own.
Full recovery can take years, but it is definitely worth it. At New Breath Recovery, we are always thrilled when our patients begin to enjoy life again as a healthy person who doesn’t need substances to be happy.