Excessive alcohol consumption changes people’s destinies and is destructive to marriages. One partner can tolerate the behavior of an alcoholic for years, but there comes a point when it all ends in divorce because alcohol and marriage are incompatible. If you wake up and go to sleep thinking, “Alcohol is destroying my marriage”, then this article is for you.
Alcohol addiction is not a harmless bad habit. It’s a disease. A disease that can and should be treated. The New Breath Recovery center provides a comfortable environment for this. Patients are under round-the-clock supervision of doctors, and the applied programs show high efficiency and low probability of relapse.
How is Alcohol Ruining Your Marriage?
Alcoholism directly affects marriage. This is not an unsubstantiated statement – there are many studies. One of them managed to establish the following pattern: an annual increase in alcohol consumption by 1 liter per inhabitant leads to a 20% increase in the number of divorces. Another study found that the risk of a marriage breaking down between people, one of whom is alcohol dependent, is 48.3%. In comparison, the risk of this scenario in a family without alcoholics is 30.1%.
How events unfold in a family with an alcoholic:
- the addict spends more and more time drinking;
- the person loses any other interests not related to alcohol;
- he stops looking after himself, does not pay attention to his partner;
- loss of work is possible and as a consequence – financial problems;
- the alcoholic becomes uncontrollable, irritable;
- may get into trouble with the law;
- the addicted person takes out all his anger and resentment on his partner, possibly using violence;
- the alcoholic becomes an anti-example for his children;
- as a result, the sober partner can not withstand such a life and as a result – the marriage breakdown.
Is it possible to change the situation? It is realistic only if you react in time, while there are still feelings.
Signs That Your Spouse Needs Help with Alcohol Addiction
The use of alcohol is a tradition in many families. It is used to relax, relieve stress and have fun. If we are talking about moderate amounts, it is not a reason to panic. But where is the clear boundary after which you should start to worry?
According to the NIAAA, drinking more than 4 servings of alcohol a day or more than 14 in a week can be a major sign. If that’s the case, it’s worth addressing the problem as early as possible. Leaving an alcoholic spouse should only be considered as a last resort if all attempts at treatment fail to produce positive results.
Other signs that suggest alcohol dependence are:
- daily alcohol consumption;
- neglect of family responsibilities;
- lack of desire to quit drinking despite the negative consequences.
It is important to realize an important thing: in most cases, it is impossible to cope with alcoholism by compulsion and willpower alone. Alcohol causes physical and mental dependence. It is like a drug, from which it is difficult to refuse. The intervention of specialists and a long rehabilitation process are required.
How to Talk to Your Spouse About Their Addiction
The alcohol addict often lives in a world of his own, in which the people around him owe him something. His character changes: he becomes resentful and irritable. Attempts to refuse drinks containing alcohol can lead to the appearance of withdrawal symptoms. It is difficult to cope with this painful condition without help, so a short period of refusal from alcohol is followed by days of drunkenness.
If you think that it is time for a serious conversation, then in no case start it with threats. Words about the possible ending of a relationship with an alcoholic will cause nothing but aggression, resentment and accusations of betrayal. It is necessary to show calmness and think over a plan of conversation in advance.
An experienced narcologist can help in drawing up such a plan. He will tell you the key points that should be emphasized when talking to an alcohol addict.
A few universal tips that will help you prepare for a difficult conversation:
- try to get to the bottom of what caused the alcoholism. Don’t look for the problem in yourself; alcohol abuse is almost always caused by external circumstances or a mental health disorder;
- find as much information about alcoholism as you can – become an expert in the field. Today it is not so difficult, you only need to spend a few hours;
- don’t dominate the conversation. Don’t act like an adult with a child – alcoholics feel neglected and almost always react with aggression;
- choose an appropriate time and place. It is best to start the conversation in a calm environment when your partner is sober and ready to listen.
Remember, no judgment or blame, just patience and openness.
Alcohol Addiction Treatment Methods
Now you are aware of how alcoholism affects a marriage. You yourself feel that the relationship is on the verge of breaking down. But like any marriage problems, alcohol addiction can be beaten. The main thing is not to miss the moment when irreparable damage will be done to the alcoholic’s physical and mental health.
Recognize the problem first. Tell yourself that my husband’s drinking is not normal and does not make you both happy people. And most importantly, seek professional help – do not try to fight your loved one’s illness on your own. Be prepared that even experienced doctors will take time to restore your husband’s health.
What will have to go through:
- medication. This includes one of the most difficult procedures – detoxification, i.e. removing ethyl alcohol from the body and dealing with the accompanying withdrawal symptoms. This is a very painful process that can be accompanied by seizures, depression, nausea, vomiting. At the stage of detox, the patient is prescribed benzodiazepines and other drugs that reduce the desire to consume alcohol and restore brain activity;
- psychotherapy. It is not enough only to remove alcohol, you need to teach the addict to live without needing it. For this purpose, a whole complex of therapies is used: cognitive-behavioral, dialectical behavioral, motivational interviewing and much more. An experienced psychotherapist evaluates the dynamics of treatment and adjusts the program as necessary;
- group and family therapy. Involvement of family and other patients with similar problems in the rehabilitation process has a favorable effect on recovery. The alcohol addict sees that he or she is not indifferent to the people around him or her, shares his or her experiences and receives feedback;
- alternative therapies. Meditation, yoga, art therapy, new hobbies and hobbies contribute to relieving tension and help to effectively fight cravings for alcohol.
All this is possible both in inpatient and outpatient settings. It is inpatient treatment that shows the greatest effectiveness. It is here that optimal conditions for recovery are created. The New Breath Recovery rehabilitation center provides a comprehensive approach to alcohol addiction treatment. Patients live in comfortable conditions where there is no room for triggers and the possibility of alcohol consumption is excluded. Under the supervision of doctors, they receive maximum help, restore their mental balance and learn to find joy in a sober life. This is a great way to keep your family and marriage together, especially if you realize that ending a relationship with an alcoholic is the easiest, but not always the right way to deal with the problem.